What I Learned on Spring Break – Kveller
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Mayim Bialik

What I Learned on Spring Break

Last night, the season finale of “The Big Bang Theory” aired on CBS and the taping for the show wrapped up a few weeks ago. I took advantage of that fact and organized a jaunt to the East Coast and Kentucky. More on that here

Here’s is what I learned during that trip:

1. No matter how cute and comfortable they seem, no sandal should be walked around in for an entire day in Manhattan. Said sandal will cause deep festering blisters that will make you limp for days after.

2. If you are on “The Big Bang Theory,” it’s not fun when your airline shows “The Big Bang Theory” on the plane.

3. Hanging out with Yeshiva University Maccabeats who are 10 years younger than you will make you feel very, very old. From the technology they have seemingly implanted into their yarmulke-covered heads to their giggles when you say you haven’t seen {insert name of 21st century PG-13 movie here}, there’s just not much about this kind of interaction to make you feel current or hip. But, gosh, are they sweet.

4. Unlike in Los Angeles, meetings in Manhattan do not need to have flashy presentations, tuchus-lekking attendants, fancy water glasses, nor false flattery to be productive, efficient, and enjoyable. To those who organized my Kveller.com office and Simon & Schuster editorial/sales/marketing meetings: you get an A+!

5. In some places such as Bethlehem, PA and Teaneck, NJ, there are no vegan restaurants. You sometimes have to make do with veganizing Asian food as your main sustenance. However, all it takes is one fantastic vegetarian place in Louisville, KY called Zen Garden to restore your faith in your dietary choices, your palate, and–yes–humanity.

6. There is not better bagel to be procured than the bagels you can procure in New York.

7. Having a runny-nosed toddler on a plane is generally not good, except when that toddler is so exhausted from being sick that he naps on you for a record 2 1/2 hours. And then a sick toddler is quite good on a plane.

8. Much as meltdowns in security lines, on busses, in museums, in restaurants, in bathtubs and in elevators build character, there is nothing lacking in a trip where neither of your children has a meltdown for all 8 days that you are away.

9. Children are highly distracted on vacation and enjoy (for example) sticks and airplane straws more than one thinks they ought to. Which brings me to the last lesson gleaned from my vacation:

10. There is no place like home. Which is exactly why I can’t wait to travel again in two weeks.

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