It’s Dude Week here at Kveller, which gives me the perfect opportunity to ask a question that has been bothering me for years now.
Where are all the single Jewish men?
You may think that Kveller isn’t necessarily the right forum for such a question, seeing as how we tend to be more play-date than J-Date around here. But as long as we’ve got the men’s attention this week, I have to ask, where are all of your single buddies? (Please don’t say Israel–nothing against the homeland, but we were hoping for a distinctly American answer in this case.)
Now, before you decide that I’m some sort of Hebrew Hussy who can’t figure out a better way to get herself a second man (although I am convinced we could really use a second wife around here, preferably a platonic one who happens to have an unnatural love of cleaning and cooking), let me explain. This time, it’s not actually about me. I have more than one girlfriend looking for a man, preferable a single, Jewish one. And I have friends who have friends in the same situation.
Seriously. Where are you guys? Statistically speaking, there aren’t more Jewish women than men, right? I do know that more and more Jews are marrying outside the tribe, but I haven’t read anything about men doing so at a higher rate than women. And please, don’t send my friends to J-Date or Frumster. No offense to those sites specifically; I think most of my friends are pretty burnt on the online dating scene in general–especially my friend who was somehow matched with an Ultra-Orthodox Jew who listed “water parks” as his favorite activity. Yeah, not so much.
So, men, let us in on the secret. Where are the single Jewish boys hiding? I’m particularly interested in the Boston area, but I know there are ladies in New York, DC, and the Bay Area of California (to mention just a few spots) who are eager for the details. Is there a secret synagogue somewhere? A super hip JCC just teeming with eligible bachelors? (Hello, swimming pool!) Alternately, if you don’t want to reveal the underground railroad where the Jewish doctors, lawyers, and tech billionaires are hiding, feel free to send us information about specific guys. We’re looking for pictures, resumes, financial statements, personal statements, and at least three character references.
On behalf of all my smart, funny, accomplished, hilarious, adorable, decidedly-unattached female friends, thanks in advance.