We went to an indoor water park this weekend, and I had no intention of having my picture taken. I’ve gained 20 pounds in the last six months; in fact, I had to buy a new bathing suit before we left.
Six months ago, I posted a picture of myself in a bikini on Facebook and wrote an article about it. I posted it because I was skinny. I was skinny because I hadn’t been eating. I was in a bad place emotionally and physically, but YAY skinny, right?
I’m doing a lot better now. I’m grateful that I have an appetite again even though I’m now tipping the scales in the other direction. It’s hard to shake old habits and ways of looking at ourselves, but I’m trying to be kind with myself. To remember that I’m the best mother and wife and person I can be right now. That my kids don’t care if my thighs touch or my stomach isn’t flat.
A woman who was passing by snapped the above photo of my toddler and me. He’s delighted as he squeezes my cheeks and I’m laughing with joy. F*ck the number on the scale. F*ck the size on the bathing suit. This is what matters.