Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Over the years, many of our writers have written poignantly about the heartrending experience of losing a child or pregnancy. For those who have experienced that pain, we hope these stories will resonate, provide comfort, and offer helpful suggestions for processing the loss. For those who haven’t, this might help you comfort a friend who has.
Here is a roundup of the most relevant articles from Kveller and our friends at Modern Loss about pregnancy and infant loss:
1. 17 Things to Say to Someone Who’s Lost a Child. It’s hard to know what to say to a friend who is mourning the loss of a child or potential child. A dad who has unfortunately found himself on both sides of the conversation offers some guidelines and suggestions.
2. Five Things Not to Say When Someone is No Longer Expecting. On the flip side, there are many awkward and even hurtful things that are inadvertently uttered when people notice that a friend is no longer pregnant or without a new baby. Here are some comments to avoid.
3. My Ectopic Pregnancy & Why I’m Determined to Talk About It. This mom was always private about her fertility situation, but after a scary ectopic pregnancy landed her in the hospital, she vowed to break the silence on reproductive health in her Orthodox community.
4. Five Ways to Reframe Pregnancy Loss. Dr. Jessica Zucker, a psychologist who specializes in women’s reproductive and maternal health, offers some helpful suggestions for processing the trauma, forgiving yourself and finding the courage to try again.
5. Wish You Were Here. Each year, a family acknowledges the birthday of their sister/daughter who died in vitro by writing letters and releasing balloons.
6. Seven Jewish Mourning Rituals for Neonatal Death and Stillbirth. Several concrete Jewish ways to recognize the tragedy, and heal spiritually and emotionally.