I was racking my brain for a thoughtful gift for my husband and finally gave up and just asked him what he wants.
Him: A squatty potty.
Me: A squatty potty?! Are you serious that’s what you want?
Him: OK, a squatty potty, homemade chocolate chip cookies and to never do bath time again.
I’m going to spend thirty bucks for my man to poop with the proper “anorectal angle alignment,” and hopefully there will be no excuse for him messing around on his phone in the bathroom while I nurse the baby and put dinner on the table answering questions about nipples, and acorns, and the travesty of why I don’t have a penis.
The cookies are a pretty easy gift; you can’t go wrong with this salted chocolate chunk recipe. But the bath time request is absolutely banana pants, because I expelled four living beings out of my vagina, so the least he can do is wash them once per week (because we have super high cleanliness standards in our house, obviously). I’ll throw a steak on the grill and orchestrate some tiny-hand-print cards, and we’ve got ourselves a pretty decent Father’s Day.
But for wives who like to spoil their man on Father’s day, I have a put together a great list for you. The undershirts are a little bit of a splurge, but are long in the torso and I swear they get softer with each wash. I’m super intrigued by the salt block cooking and it seems like a unique gift (side note: Is it just me or do you totally want to lick that salt block?).
I need to put one of those Tile finders on our TV remote, because when we finally sit down to flip through Netflix complaining about why movies have to be OMG-TWO-HOURS-LONG before falling asleep on the couch, we have to first spend 20 minutes tearing apart our living room screaming “you had it last!”—while looking for the remote only to discover our daughter has hid it inside her play kitchen and piled felt fruit on top of it. The struggle is real.
Anyway, Father’s Day is less than two weeks away, so enjoy the list and let us know what you are getting your husband for Father’s Day!
Here’s the list below:
1. L’Occitane Cade Moisturizer, $44
2. Wallet Ninja, $14.99
3. Squatty Potty: The Original Bathroom Stool, $24.99
4. Salt Block Cooking by Mark Bitterman, $15.05
5. Himalayan Crystal Salt Tile, $18.70
6. Gap Crew-Neck T-shirts, $17.99
7. Tile Bluetooth tracker, $69.95
8. FatCatLeather Moneyclip Wallet, $29.99