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What’s in Your Bag, Moms?

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If you look in my bag right now, you’ll find:

1. Six different kids of lipstick/gloss/creme

2. A horrible nest of receipts from various food and beverage establishments

3. Rogue earrings

4. A condom of questionable age

5. My wallet

6. Crumbs

7. Glitter, inexplicably…

8. Rings and bracelets I got tired of wearing

9. Dog poop-scoop bags

10. A pen that stopped working in 2014

11. Keys

12. All my secrets

It sounds absurd, because it is. But my purse is way way down in the rankings for most egregious purse climate. Mary Poppins solidly takes the first spot, then Pandora (if her box comes with a handle), and then spots No. 3 to 150 bajillion are filled…with moms.

Mom bags are resilient. They carry everything for not just one person, but two. Sometimes more. They vary in levels of organization, size, and weight, but one thing remains the same: Everything is lightly covered in Cap’n Crunch dust or juice box residue.

I asked Kveller moms to let me into these sacred places, to let me sift through the contents–and they did. Here’s what I found:

“I’ve been keeping Sophie the Giraffe in my bag for no other reason except that it makes me giggle when I hear it squeak at random times, like in a meeting.” — Aliza

“I carry a diaper bag with cloth diapers, wipes, wet bag, coconut oil, sunscreen, sippy cup, my water bottle, snacks… Oh and my wallet and phone.” — Madelyn

“Ikea pencil, old postcards I was supposed to handout for chorus, 4T shorts and underwear, receipts, rubber bands, jewelry, bug spray, plus the usual stuff.” — Logan

“Right now….my sunglasses and my normal glasses, wallet, Kleenex, makeup bag with lip sticks and lip gloss, pen to write with, medicine and a blueberry muffin from dinner! Missing from my purse is my phone and the iPad and a cord to charge.” — Sarah

“Crumbs, lots and lots of crumbs…” — Lynne

jennifer bag

— Jennifer

“I live in Downeast Maine far, far from civilization. Packets of instant coffee, tea bags, waterproof matches, band aids, suture kit, Neosporin, pocket knife, Kleenex, lip balm, feminine products of course. Nasal inhaler, eye drops, and emergency Benadryl and ibuprofen. Oh and $10 emergency cash since it’s a 40 minute drive to any gas station or grocery market. (I have gotten to town and forgotten my cash/card wallet, no fun).” — Rebecca

“Wallet, phone, keys, charging cable, assorted dinosaurs, filofax planner, bag of pens, makeup bag, diapers and wipes, cookies, plastic 3D printed snails, assorted pieces of electrical parts my son ‘needs’.” — Nicole

“Empty pack of Pall Malls, a weird wallet thing with random cards in it, some stay-put lipstick, dental floss, a stray piece of gum, some glitter, and lavender oil. Yes, I have a kid, but she’s 13 now. Her bag is a whole different ballgame.” — Shelly

“49 tubes of lipstick, 3 lip balms, a giant hobo wallet that contains a billion rewards cards, receipts, and absolutely no money, a pen, and keys.” — Jodie

“iPhone, credit cards, $$$, keys, drivers license, hunting license (yes I live in TX), military ID, stamps, insurance card, msc. makeup, pen, and four lollipops (?)” — Denise

“Wallet, coupons to Bed, Bath, and Beyond, old crumpled receipts, phone, bandaid, pen, keys, tissues, and a bouncy ball.” — Ilana

lisa bag

— Lisa

“A wallet; a makeup bag with lipstick, mirror, Neosporin and band aids; some tissues; keys; and two tiny parrots.They have been there for more then 12 years. First, I used them to entertain my oldest son, who is going to be Bar Mitzvah soon. Now they amuse his toddler sister. Oh yes, and a tiny motorcycle.” — Elana

“Pretty much everything but the kitchen sink! I call it my “Mom, can you hold this?” bag. On trips, I become the holder of everything, which are rarely claimed at the end of the trip.” — Anita

“Wallet, second wallet with rewards card/library cards/gift cards etc, filofax, a half knit sock, a diaper, a small pack of wipes, an Altoids tin, an Altoids tin filled with crayons, nine action figures (two of which are Captain Americas), and a first aid kit with minions Band-Aids.” — Rebecca

“Wallet, makeup bag, another make up bag with things like pads and Tylenol and Band Aids, medication, an Epipen for my daughter, several boxes of crayons, a lip balm or two, a second wallet with the loyalty cards that don’t have key tags on them, two adult Girl Scout insignia tabs with pins on them (mine and my husband’s), a notebook, several pens, a small knitting project, a baggie with some Calico Critters, a package of fruit snacks, my sunglasses, at least two other pairs of sunglasses for kids, one or more other sensory items, chewing gum, mints, a tea bag, tissues, business cards, a lot of assorted Girl Scout patches and a few other small toys.” — Erika

“My whole life…LOL.” — Michelle

“At the moment, lots of crumbs, a half eaten apple and some sand.” — Jemma

“Random McDonalds toys, lens caps for my camera, hair bows, earrings that are too heavy, quarters (for the random toy quarter machine), receipts, old gum, perfume, lipgloss, keys, and oh yeah…NO money LOL.” — Becki

“I’m the mom of three boys so naturally, a baseball and disinfectant spray.” — Sigalle

What’s in your bag, mom? Join the conversation below.

The opinions expressed here are the personal views of the author. Comments are moderated, so use your inside voices, keep your hands to yourself, and no, we're not interested in herbal supplements.

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