A Jewish friend texted me the other day and asked if she could rant about something Christmas-related. “Christmas is not a secular holiday!” she said. “Christmas trees are not secular! They have nothing to do with the birth of Christ, true, but they are part of a celebration that happens because of a religious festival. I have a really hard time with how the whole world has accepted Christmas as the default winter holiday without acknowledging that it is not secular. I want to write about this but it would probably hurt the feelings of Jewish friends of mine who install decorated evergreens in their homes in December.”
I think I agree in theory, but also, evergreens are actually the only plant I see outside my house all winter. Why wouldn’t I put them in my house the way I put tulips there in the spring, or dahlias in early fall? Christians can’t just claim trees!
Anyway, her text got me thinking that maybe we all just need a safe space to air our extremely specific kvetches about the winter holidays. The many, many comments Kveller receives on social media on a daily basis would support that theory, so we posted a prompt exclusively for holiday kvetches. I’m calling it Kveller Kvetch Club and here is just a sampling of what we heard. I hope it makes you feel seen — or prompts even more kvetching. ‘Tis the season!
On Hanukkah:
I hate the commercialization of Hanukkah. Judaism shouldn’t require bells and whistles to get me to understand its purpose. —Sandra
Too few Chanukah movies and too many Christmas ones. —Cuor
I honestly don’t even think it’s right to compare Hanukkah and Christmas. We do it because it occurs at a similar time of the year, for the most part. Judaism has its very own special times that are so much more “meaningful” than Hanukkah. —Danielle
Local news anchors mispronouncing our holidays. —Marsha
I’d love for people to stop saying “but it’s a minor holiday, right?” when I celebrate. —Nikki
On Christmas:
I just went to a “holiday party” yesterday. I’m not dumb. I know what that’s a euphemism for, but when the entertainment worked through every Christmas song and started on St. Patrick’s material (honoring her Irish heritage), I left. Don’t call it a holiday when you don’t even acknowledge that a third of the attendees are Jewish. —Lois
Work/school events called “holiday parties” that make no attempt at including more than one holiday. It’s always just Christmas. I wish they’d just call it a Christmas party rather than give people false hope that their holidays will be included. —Alyson
Just a general feeling of “left out” this time of year. I participate in the secular parts of Christmas — gimme an ugly sweater and a holiday cookie any day! — but generally speaking, do not get the same consideration from others. —Heather
My irritation is that everything — except a Star of David — makes people think of Christmas. Snowflake. Tree. Lights. Even candles. —Stacie
I’m pretty sick of hearing how a lot of Christmas songs were written by Jews. That means nothing to me, and I don’t feel like I want or need a “connection” to Christmas anyway. —Aviva
I don’t need Hanukkah to compete with Christmas, but the erasure of non-Christians is frustrating. The assumption that I celebrate Christmas can be annoying, even after I’ve told people that I’m Jewish. —Gabrielle
I honestly hate everything to do with Christmas. —Linda
On Hanukkah decorations, merchandise and holiday lights:
I feel like there needs to be more (and more thoughtfully made) merch. Schmear the halls, already! Tired of seeing a small handful of the same tired Hanukkah items on display bulked up by plain blue or silver nothings to make it look bigger. I live in an interfaith house and want more than just my little “Hanukkorner” of a few things during the holidays. We can do so much better! —Chelsea
The fact that we’re only allowed to have anything Hanukkah-related in blue and white, ever. There’s a whole rainbow of colors out there, people! Blue and white have nothing to do with Hanukkah (or any other Jewish holiday)! —Lisa
The Hanukkah display at my local TJ Maxx had a nativity scene. —Phyliss
I wish I didn’t have to think twice about having Hanukkah decorations and inflatables on my lawn. —Hila
Hanukkah decorations are either extremely childish, extremely basic, or extremely religious. —Rachel
When the local market puts matzah on the Chanukah display. —Cheryl
Before I kvetch, let me say something positive: I like that people wish each other happy whatever. An expression of good wishes is always welcome — even if it’s tied to a holiday that isn’t mine. Now my kvetch: as a driver, I hate the abundance of holiday lights. They are so profuse that I find them a distraction when driving. —Roberta
On navigating the season with kids:
What’s frustrating is that Jewish parents have to take initiative to make winter holidays inclusive. —Kathy
Feeling obligated to neither confirm nor deny the existence of Santa Claus to my young children lest they go and ruin it for their Santa-believing, Christmas-celebrating friends —Dan
I’m pretty over public schools that push Christmas holiday events with no consideration for students who don’t celebrate the holiday. My child doesn’t know how to write a letter to a mythical figure that doesn’t come to our house. My daughter doesn’t want to discuss family Christmas traditions because we don’t have any, and explaining that we celebrate Hanukkah will out her to peers and give them another reason to harass her. —Heather
Trying to teach my 4-year-old that we celebrate Hanukkah because we’re proud to be Jewish, while it feels like the entire world insists on Christmas. Random strangers who tell him Santa’s coming to his house, an entire month of Christmas crafts at preschool, lights, candy and Christmas decorations everywhere. I feel badly for him. It’s confusing and what 4-year-old wouldn’t want to celebrate Christmas??? —Amanda
My Christian in-laws are constantly trying to proselytize to my young kids. —Anonymous
And because we’re Jews, we even kvetch about kvetching:
My biggest kvetch is the kvetching! Take the good cheer, generosity, joy and light and enjoy it. Take the good wishes in the spirit with which they’re offered. Bring your own traditions to the table (or not) and spread the light. Put more good in the world with the energy one might otherwise use for complaining. —Michelle
Maybe unpopular, but no kvetch needed. People at work are happy. Christmas music is lovely. The reality is I am a minority here in America. In Israel, it is lovely seeing all the New Years decorations before Rosh Hashanah. —Jessica
And finally, a kvetch we can all relate to:
The weather! —Aviva
