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Apr 7 2014

What’s Your Exodus: Breaking Free from Hiding My Same-Sex Marriage & More Reader Responses

By at 3:37 pm

As Passover approaches, we asked our readers and writers: What do you need an exodus from? Today we hear from four Kveller readers as part of our “What’s Your Exodus?” series. 

From Rita Collins:

"what's your exodus?"

I think twice about telling co-workers or customers that I’m married to a person of the same sex when I meet them. When they talk freely about their spouses of the opposite sex sometimes I feel like I’m shackled by fear of their reaction, especially if they are very religious (Christian, Jewish, Muslim, or otherwise). I need an exodus from my own self-conscious embarrassment that is only brought on by me. Some will support and some will treat me with disdain, but that isn’t the fear I need to be free from…it is the fear that the ones who treat me with disdain are right. I need to love openly with a full heart and know that they are wrong and then it won’t matter to me what they or anyone thinks. I’m a woman, and I love my wife and I love our children.

From Jill Shulman:

jill shulman "What's your exodus?"

This year, I want to stop wasting time worrying about things that are out of my control. Rationally, I know that my children will be fine watching one more hour of television, eating one more scoop of ice cream, and feeling left out just this once. Then my irrational side kicks in and spirals out of control. Too much TV will make their brains melt. Too many sweets will certainly lead to tooth decay and obesity. When they are left out, I suffer as much as or more than they do, the way I fret about their happiness and feel like my heart will split in two. Enough! All this unnecessary worry is not good for my health and does nothing whatsoever to help my children.

From Lisa Soble Siegmann:

lisa "what's your exodus?"

My Exodus is finding my work/home balance–oh–and getting off of Diet Dr. Pepper.

From Leslee S.:

My Exodus actually occurred about eight years ago. Back in 2001, I worked in the Trinity Buildings across the street from the World Trade Center. I had been a travel agent for 40 years and searched for a place to retire: away from NYC with its noise, crime, dirt, and safety issues. I was lucky to find a place called Prince Edward Island in the Canadian Maritimes and be in a beautiful (although this year we had a staggering amount of snow) safe and quiet place.

We have a tiny Jewish community and are the only province without a shul or Rabbi. But we celebrate all the holidays with a special emphasis on the children. I now grow my own fruits and vegetables… something I was never able to do in Brooklyn. I feel closer to God with my hands in the dirt, taking responsibility for the care of my own little plot.

I return to NYC twice a year to see my son and his family. Although I usually take part in our community seder, this year, my grandchildren on Long Island will be helping me make the matzah balls!

What’s your exodus this year? Let us know by either emailing info@kveller.com or tweeting @Kveller with #WhatsYourExodus.


Note: The opinions expressed here are the personal views of the author. All comments on Kveller are moderated. Any comment that is offensive or inappropriate will be removed. Privacy Policy

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