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Bar mitzvah

Your Kid’s Bar Mitzvah Will Never Top These

BM

What did YOU do last weekend? If you weren’t at one of two super-lavish bar mitzvahs in Manhattan, well, then I guess you missed out. (We did, too).

Downtown at at high-end club/restaurant Tao, a newly-minted man named Jake celebrated his bar mitzvah with rapper Cardi B and the the Knicks City Dancers — and even the “Kodak Black” singer was impressed: “Bro, I just left my first bar mitzvah. I just did a bar mitzvah for this cute little boy called Jake. Epic,” Cardi B said on her Instagram story after the party. “How do you close Tao on a Saturday night? The hottest restaurant in New York. How do you do that? That’s different.”

Just how much did Jake’s blowout bash cost? No one knows for sure, but a source told Page Six said that Cardi B “wouldn’t get out of bed for less than half a million.”

Clearly, the maybe-possibly-hopefully future star of The Nanny reboot had a blast at the bar mitzvah party. But was it more “epic” than the other major blowout uptown?

Over at the Metropolitan Museum of Art — you know, where the Met Gala is held annually, and where there is, um, art — guests feted Ryan, the son of billionaire Howard Lutnick, CEO of Cantor Fitzgerald. There, Queens rapper Rich the Kid performed in the Temple of Dendur room, which was closed for the week leading up to the party.

Page Six estimates that it costs between $200,000 and $300,000 to book Rich the Kid.

This isn’t the first time a lavish bar (or bat) mitzvah party made headlines. Actually, New York is sort of notorious for these over the top tween events. In 2016, billionaire businessman Nelson Peltz spent $2 million on his sons’ B’nai Mitzvah. (A million bucks for each twin — that’s fair, right?)

A-list performers, customized sweatshirts, photo booths, giveaways and break dancers are staples at these elite, jaw-dropping celebrations — and apparently not much has changed since I was bar/bat mitzvah party hopper a decade ago. As a student at a Jewish day school in New Jersey, I was invited to a millionaire’s party practically every weekend (most notable was when one bat mitzvah rented out Madam Tussauds’ New York wax museum — now that was a party!). For nearly two years, I was a socialite in braces, frequenting the glitziest of parties. (Alas, if only it didn’t coincide with my awkward phase…)

But of course, even if you have millions to spare, that doesn’t make it a requirement. And some parents and religious figures think it’s completely unnecessary (hear, hear!).

Despite strong countertrends afoot — like, much in the vein of more homespun weddings, DIY bar mitzvahs are on the rise among certain sets — it seems unlikely that these over the top parties will come to a halt. Millionaires will keep doing what they do best — making it RAIN!!! — and celebrities like Nicki Minaj and Snoop Dogg will continue to make headlines for performing at what is essentially a 13-year-old’s birthday party.

Still, a hearty mazel tov to Jake and Ryan — who are not to be confused with Jake Ryan, the heartthrob character from the 1980s classic Sixteen Candles. These “men” are only 13, after all!

The opinions expressed here are the personal views of the author. Comments are moderated, so use your inside voices, keep your hands to yourself, and no, we're not interested in herbal supplements.

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