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Bar mitzvah

Nicki Minaj Crashes a Bar Mitzvah, Turns Boys into Men

Screen Shot 2015-04-27 at 1.28.20 PM

Puberty is a very painful and awkward time for everyone–which is why our society has lovingly placed major coming of age ceremonies like bar mitzvahs and Sweet 16s–where lots of pictures will be taken–throughout it. We need cold, hard evidence of our acne-ridden, sexually confused selves in sizes 8×10 and 4×6 to plague us for the rest of our lives. But at least they’re shut in a dusty photo album somewhere in our mothers’ closets.

Unless you’re Matt–whose bar mitzvah photos have an epic twist, because Nicki Minaj is in them. And Nicki Minaj really loves Instagram, which is why the above photo–which Gawker labeled “The Horniest Photo of All Time“–is now on the Internet forever.

READ: Tweens Ditch B’nai Mitzvah Parties to Build Playground in Chicago’s South Side

Will Matt look back on this photo with pride? Or will he shudder in embarrassment? We’re guessing the former, because duh, it’s Nicki Minaj. Here’s a solo shot with the bar mitzvah boy, who she aptly named her “boy toy”:

A photo posted by Nicki Minaj (@nickiminaj) on

At the very least, we hope one day Matt will be able to look back on these photos with red-faced nostalgia, wondering how much godforsaken money his parents had to make in order to afford Nicki Minaj to perform at this bar mitzvah…

…and how many first boners were captured in that one image.

Matty-boy is just one in a sweeping trend of insane bar mitzvahs. Check out this kid, whose celebration included a very elaborate performance at a rented out hotel. And this kid, whose musical invitation took the Internet by storm. 

The opinions expressed here are the personal views of the author. Comments are moderated, so use your inside voices, keep your hands to yourself, and no, we're not interested in herbal supplements.

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