Yes folks, it’s true, Hanukkah is upon us.
Unusually early this year, the Festival of Lights has crept up just days after Thanksgiving and Cyber Monday. Sure there are skeptics out there who think the holiday is the Jews’ lesser answer to Christmas. (And those who think an overhaul should include renaming the “Berliner” doughnut in Germany the “Hanukkah.”)
But to all of you naysayers, I say buck up. Hanukkah is just fine the way it is.
And with that, I present you everything you always wanted to know about Hanukkah, but had no one to ask.
1. How do I make candle lighting even more fun? Make your own menorah!
2. What’s the candle lighting blessing again? And which direction do you light the candles?
3. Are there cool Jewish toys? Yes, I’m talking about Pharaoh punching bags and Moses action figures, for real!
4. How do I make latkes without splattering oil? Oven fried latkes. Yum.
6. Are there Hanukkah songs that won’t numb my soul?
7. Um, what’s Hanukkah about?
8. Once I’m sick and tired of potatoes, are there other Hanukkah foods to eat? You’ve been missing out on doughnuts and fried cupcakes!