Last week, Angelina Jolie disclosed that she had a preventive double mastectomy after learning that she carries a gene that sharply increases her risk of developing breast and ovarian cancer. I absolutely applaud her decision to share her experience, as I am a strong believer in the power of telling our stories, both for others and for ourselves.

And then I tried to stop thinking about it, or anything else related to the C word or the inevitable D word. But I couldn’t. In the back of my mind, I wondered if I am at an increased risk for breast or ovarian cancer as I am both of Ashkenazi Jewish descent, and my paternal aunt died of breast cancer when she was just 45 years old. I finally decided I needed to learn more. I called my aunt, Dr. Elizabeth Naumburg. She’s a Professor of Family Medicine and an Associate Dean for Advising at the University of Rochester Medical School, and she sees patients just like me on a regular basis–women who might have questions about their own risk for breast cancer, and what they should do about it. Read more →

When your hottest social engagement is taking your toddler and baby to Tasti D-Lite and then proceeding to read four different Curious George books at bedtime, you may have fallen into a bit of a rut. I know I have.

First, a disclaimer: I love my kids, Tasti D-Lite, and Curious George (and in that exact order), and I am more than happy to spend any free time I have in things that involve all of those elements. And my dismay at falling into a rut feels a bit disingenuous when my husband constantly implores me to institute some sort of official date night, or when he supports my much-coveted “me time” by doing more than his share. Read more →

This week’s parenting news you probably didn’t have time to read.

- Turns out every human has about 100 trillion bacteria living (and dying) on our skin and inside our bodies at all times. And that families living in the same house share many of the same bacteria, especially those with dogs who spread them around via licking. (NYT)

- An alum of the Hebrew Union College wrote an open letter urging them to reconsider their stance on not admitting prospective rabbinical students who are married, engaged, or in a relationship with a person who is not Jewish. (Forward)

- The United States lags behind almost all other industrialized countries in providing the goods, services, and incentives that make it possible for women and men to be caregivers as well as breadwinners. Anne-Marie Slaughter shares some strategies that could help. (Atlantic)

- What is up with America’s creepy fascination with pregnant celebrities? While it’s great that famous women no longer feel they need to hide for 9 months while they’re pregnant, the media’s scrutiny of their weight and obsession with their “bumps” is totally weird, and only getting worse. (Double X)

- Amy Blumenfeld was always honest with her daughter about how she was born, via gestational surrogacy. So it’s no surprise that her daughter has now taken it upon herself to tell her friends and schoolmates that there’s more than one way for a baby to be born. (Huffington Post)

Once, when my husband and I managed to escape for some grown up time after leaving our three kids with my parents, my husband realized that he’d left his cell phone at home. We decided not to go back for it since, as my husband noted, “If an emergency comes up that your dad can’t handle, then we’re %^&* out of luck, anyway.” (My father, as I’ve written earlier, has a home remedy for every occasion.) Read more →

This post is part of our month-long series featuring different ways that parents of various religions have talked to their kids about God.

When people ask what religion we are–me, my husband Justin, and our two small children–I answer, “nothing.”

Then I realize how empty this sounds. I revise, explaining our parents’ religion. As if, to tell the whole truth, one has to start from the beginning.

My Catholic parents believe even dogs go to heaven, I say.

Justin’s parents, I add, are atheists who belong to a temple of socially conscious activists, presided over by a gay rabbi. Read more →

Everybody is ready to give you advice. Give them a pacifier. Put them to bed early. Learn to take care of yourself.

Most of this advice has many different sides to it and a lot of it is based on your personality. The only advice I ever needed and want to give is: Rituals. Make them happen. It is the little rituals that have changed my life. Rituals build the moments. Smaller ones and bigger ones that shape who your family is and how they interact. Read more →

This week’s most popular posts, in case you missed them.

-The Book of Ruth–A Story Close to this Convert’s Heart On Shavuot, the Book of Ruth is traditionally read. After her husband dies, Ruth, a Moabite woman, follows her Israelite mother-in-law into the Jewish people with the famous words, “Whither you go, I will go, wherever you lodge, I will lodge, your people will be my people, and your God will be my God.” For Tamara, who converted to Judaism six years ago, this story hits especially close to home.

-Today, I’m Thankful for the Other Mothers in My Life. Here’s a lovely piece about recognizing the importance of the other mothers in your life, the ones who accept and love your kids for who they are.

-Jewish Mother’s Day, With a Side of Guilt What does it mean when your son gives you a Mother’s Day card with a drawing of Darth Vader on it? For Jordana, it was a Jewish Mother’s Day with an extra side order of guilt

-Let’s Stop Fat Shaming at the Bris For her nephew’s bris, Tamar baked a delicious array of goodies. Upon seeing them, all the women in the family began the traditional recitation of guilt: “Uch, this is SO BAD. I should NOT eat any of this.” “Don’t let me have ANY of this.” “This isn’t going to help me stay good.” And then she yelled at them to stop

Bread falling from the sky. Really?

This post is part of our month-long series featuring different ways that parents of various religions have talked to their kids about God.

We don’t talk about God in my house. We debate God.

This is something I could never have anticipated–that two brothers, 18 months apart in age, given the same religious education, books, and influences, could disagree so completely about matters of faith. But this is how it goes:

Mose is 7. He thinks God is probably not real. But he believes in “nature and patterns.” He came up with this himself. Read more →

So I was reading The Week this past week and I saw an article about Tylenol. I guess a study was recently done proving that Tylenol doesn’t only help with physical pain, but also existential pain or angst. My first thought was, “Damn, why didn’t I find out about that two weeks ago!”

You see, my wife is due to give birth to our second child (a girl) June 1. But really, we have a sneaking suspicion that it’s going to be any day now. Wait. Back up. SHE has a sneaking suspicion that it’s going to be any day now, but I trust her knowledge of her own body.  Read more →

We’ve all heard horror stories about potty learning. From ill-timed accidents to elaborate bribes, teaching (“training”) children how to use the potty turns even the most sensible people into frantic angry shut-ins. I bought into the hype reading “three day potty boot camp” books and prepared to sit in the bathroom with my naked kid eating salty foods, drinking water, and letting his Curious George doll pretend to pee on the toilet.

I was tired of changing diapers. Infant diapers are an inevitable part of my day, but huge man-sized turds from my 25lb toddler were driving me insane. His lanky body was awkward and unstable on public changing tables and the smell could clear a room in seconds. My blood boiled as I watched him walk behind the couch, drop a deuce in his diaper and then demand I change it immediately–or rather hiding it from me until his butthole blazed with a fiery red rash that required a teary mid-day shower.

I wanted him to put that shit in the toilet. Literally. Read more →